"The blonde says,"May I join you? If yes, then how about these witty geometry jokes? What can you do to confuse a blonde? Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Please state the nature of your emergency, says the operator. "I want you to beat me half to death with it. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Brunette Mary and blonde Liz were talking in the office one day. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". So the blondes set off to find the Creator of the Sign, and their search is interminable. To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet. She knew she would cheat since she had the smartest kid in her grade sitting beside her. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. They are often considered to be derogatory as many are mere variants on traditional ethnic jokes or jests about other identifiable groups that would be . Thought Catalog: Dumb Blonde Jokes3. Joke #748 There are three blondes on an island. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit! Then why not share them with your friends?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); Then check out these Outrageous Little Johnny Jokes or 15 Funniest Knock Knock Jokes. The redhead said, I cant take this, youre my friend. The blonde said, No. ! the blond. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub? She stood there, just thinking about it. Stop on by and have a laugh. The other blonde replied, You have a dollar, dont you? Funny brunette jokes at the Jokes About Brunettes site. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Without further ado, here are some of the funniest blonde jokes youd hear today! Let's the Doctors of the Soul be the judge of that. Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat.". A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! They found a lamp and rubbed it. The first one replied, Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?, A blonde goes to a soda machine. To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet. Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. There was a Brunette, a Brown-Headed and a Blonde. How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word comfortable? The brunette explains, My sisters blonde. "Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box." Score: 597. She realizes that shell only be able to send her sister one word. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about blondes. She walks into the telegraph office and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that Ive bought a bull for our ranch. Get the quarterback! Im like, hello? The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, What is the answer to your question?. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit". The next day she goes to collect the money from under the pear tree. ''Okay,'' replied the genie. there were women a blonde a brunette and a red head they were walkin throuh the desert and all a sudden a genie popped up and said i will grant you each one wish for each of you for the brunette it was for her to be smart she became a red head the redhead said for her to be smarter then her she became a brunette and then the blonde said for her to be smarter then both of them she became a man We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! They all decide that one person should get off because if they dont the rope will break and everyone will die. What a dumb Fish Cop, the second blonde said to the other two. The pizza guy asked if she wants it cut into six or twelve pieces. !". The blonde sat down ready to take her math exam. -. I'm like, hello? Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. ", On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Could you please move to your seat. The blonde replied,Im blonde, Im beautiful, and Im going to New York. The attendant said,Thats fine miss, but youll have to go to your seat. The blonde responded again, Im blonde, Im beautiful, and Im going to New York. This conversation continued, always with the blondes same response. Because they say concentrate.. The bartender says, Ah, youre blond too. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Your ticket isnt for first class. There was a blonde driving down the road one day. COLUMBUS, Ohio - The "dumb blonde" stereotype is simply wrong, according to a new national study of young baby boomers. She finds a boy then she brings him to the playground, she explains to him that she has kidnapped him for money, then she writes a ransom note saying that she has kidnapped their son and she demanding $10,000 cash. 2023 Cond Nast. Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (131 to 140) - Jokes about blondes. The pioneering host of CBS' classic "The Carol Burnett Show" wanted a blowout TV special. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, Potato potato!, Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? The redhead takes water in case she gets thirsty and the blonde took the car door. Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving. Finally, the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, Ill get off.. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. "See that stick over there? The police officer stops a Blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely to see her license. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,Im sorry. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. A: Because it said concentrate. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. The other said, Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. They both swallow a lot of sea men (aka semen). There are two blondes and a br. It does not store any personal data. Cop: Do you know where you were going? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. The Brunette took food in case she gets hungry. The manager said, I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!. This book covers the following topics: Table of Contents I. Lament the absurdity of a world where science is used for war. But officer, replied the second blonde, we arent fishing. When she reached 20 she told him that she had never seen so many buttons. A. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So, she became a redhead. 30. The more you bang them, the looser they get. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. A. Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, PULL OVER!, NO! the blonde yelled back, ITS A SCARF!, Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? The brunette agreed and also turned blonde. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Whats every blondes dream in life? She wants it in a brown paper bag under the pear tree in the park. The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see. How do you know if a blondes been using your computer? One looked at the other and said, Ive got to take a crap. How Dumb Blondes Solved A Serious Problem, 14. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. "The brunette replies,"Just counting. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A bets a bet., So the redhead said, Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 oclock news, so I cant take your money., The blonde replied, Well, so did I, but I never thought hed jump again!, Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, two to four years.. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? ", A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. She was back home with her family. Well, the blonde is angry, she opens her purse to take out the gun, but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. When you see a man at a comedy show who does not laugh at a joke, that does not mean the joke is not funny. Q. What's a brunette's mating call? She goes to the market and finds one for $499. The store manager said he couldnt, and got irritated when the blonde persisted. © 2021 Any jokes. Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner. Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? Nothing special sir, she replied, we just tell them straight out that theyre going to die.. The redhead went first. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Thats a great idea Ill use that! Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, hed give her $50. A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert. Six, please. Check in daily for more hilarious content. No one can decide who should go. The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Joke About Blonde Who Tried To Buy TV, 18. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house? The man replied, She should. Then the other one, "Help!! A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. Didnt you come in here yesterday and tell the same joke?, The blind man says, Yeah, but I had no choice. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. Youd think at least one of them wouldve seen it. How do they know that?. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote! Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Problem solved. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." Just do it! She turned into a blonde man. Youd think at least one of them wouldve seen it. One of the best substitutes for this is a concept as old as humanity itself: Jokes! A dead bird! The blonde looks up and asks, Where?. The brunette guy says to the blonde guy, "You dumb! The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull. There were three blondes living together. Ten of them are blonde and one is a brunette. When he found her he asked her how she crashed. The dog didn't work. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Youll find Wite Out all over the screen. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, Meow meow! The cop believes its a cat and moves on. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?". The blonde started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here! Blondes, Brunettes, and Redheads VIII. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. They found a lamp and rubbed it. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, Ill contact you to drive out after me and haul it home. The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. Invisible. A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. 3. 4. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. In this video, Emo Charlie performs dumb blonde jokes in the most hilarious manner possible. I hope u all liked it lol:):):). Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?A: She can't find the eleven. She gets all the way to the 99th step before she laughs. Impossible, says the doctor. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. Dont you see I have blue-tooth? After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell. When the get out the plane the see a little girl crying they ask why she says, " An apple fell and killed my cat.". Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The police stopped her and said, Im sorry but there is no tree on this road for miles.. uhh that was ur air freshener swinging back and fourth. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!". Stop on by and have a laugh. We are condemned to be free, and each of our acts is an indelible stamp on everyone weve ever touched. Consequently, jokes help form fond memories, deepening your connections with others. Mary: "Wow, that is some cold you have, Liz." Liz: "Tell me about it. The salon lady heard the headphones saying breath in, now breath out repeatedly. Funny Blonde Jokes by Stephen on January 20, 2013 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. What do you name a brunette in a room complete with blondes?Invisible.4. The blond dropped dead. Yes, the blonde answered, and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. This could include playing board games with your loved ones, going out for drinks, or even trying out some karaoke! See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. She was back home with her family. Laugh at 25 really funny dumb blonde jokes. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home. The telegraph operator explains that hell be glad to help her, then adds, Its just 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. ""Yes," replies the brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The blond said No way, I would die if I did. "Well, you can paint my porch. Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. That proposition, in its entirety, is utterly thrilling. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); The redhead wished to be back home. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." What's the actual cause a brunette maintains . She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?". A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. What is the name of a blonde who has a brain? Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 oclock news. Each blonde must sit in the dark and confront nothingness and, by extension, death. Your screen is covered in Wite-Out, and your desk is covered in Wite-Out, and so is your chair and your filing cabinet and every other object in your home office. A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, Is it true what Rita just told me? Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. Q: Why did the blonde stare at a carton of orange juice for 3 hours? A few hours later, seizures, rhabdomyolysis, and kidney failure. Blonde said how do you give head. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. A. U may each hav one wish. He said. A genie appears and gives each of them one wish. Poof! Its things like this that give us blondes a bad name. There were three blondes living together. Pick it up, pull the pin, and throw it back! Youre finished already? he asked. But when she reached 30 miles she didnt check in so the manager went to rescue her. The Brunette and the Brown-Headed said I wish I can go home. I just cannot get rid of it." Mary: "Try some Cold-Doc 3. There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. 2023 Inspirationfeed. A. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up. How much for these shoes? she asked the store manager. The 50 Funniest Cow Jokes Youd Ever Hear! Daddy! She then pins the letter to the boys chest and sends him home. The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean. The trick is that they must not laugh. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge. She was desperately trying to make up her mind. A blonde was driving down a hi. Every 10 miles she checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, she said it was a blast. What's a brunette's mating call? His friend looked at him and asked, What in the hell happened to you? How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? These are funny jokes with blondes! Its only 25 cents!. If you leave silence around any language it starts to sound crazy, or sound like poetry, unhinged from reality.. No, no! The potato goes in the FRONT of your trunks, not the back!! One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" What do brunettes omit maximum approximately an extraordinary party? She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, Ive had it up to here with these blonde jokes. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The second blonde replies, "I don't know, I can't see what you see. Brown-bagging it.6. "Has the blonde left yet?" What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? Funny Dumb Blonde Joke About Mysterious Computer File, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Clean Jokes For Adults That Are Actually Funny: 53+ Best +, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, Crashes Car Into A Gas Mart, Gets 1 Banana, Drives Away. Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, Knock on wood Im not as stupid as the other two! She knocked the table. Um, just a minute, if you please, he murmured. Arguably, the trendiest and most hilarious joke category is blonde jokes. The blond went back to her car and called her friend to talk about many things. !, A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. Q. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? No one else wants it. *Olive,* the other reindeer". Laugh away with Humoropedias Joke Of The Day collection. The invitation.5. Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!". She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs? So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands. She jumped right on and the horse took off. A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv." Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. She picks up her purse and goes home. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. "Has the blonde left yet? These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!, Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. But Id love to hear your joke, since stereotypes about my hair color help me explore my sense of anxiety about things I cant control., The blind guy says, O.K., great. then the blonde asked, What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and were collecting debris off the bottom of the river.. She opened the folder with it. The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. A blonde is putting together a puzzle. My informant is Jackson, a 19-year-old male student at USC. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here. "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Blonde Trapped On An Island There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license? Well, I know of no law against it, said the Game Warden. Blonde Who Was Pulled Over For Speeding, 13. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? POOF! None. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. Poof! I suppose being trapped in a well is just another banal allegory for being locked in the prison of our own experience., The first blonde replies, Yeah, I guess even jokes are all kind of a footnote to Kant., The second blonde smiles and says, And Plato, too, Becky., Give her a slip of paper that says, If you are free, turn this over., On the other side it says, I knew you would do that., Two blondes are lost in the mall. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. She was standing on the porch., A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. But magically changing reality on a whim would subvert our ability to take responsibility for our actions and would be antithetical to human existence. POOF! Here Come and join us for a night of non-stop laughter at the newest additi Be voted the funniest person in your country and compete in the Grand Final tournament at the World Famous Laugh Factory. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); There are eleven people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. Joke has 31.03 % from 16 votes. A blonde and a brunette were in a bar. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesnt serve blondes. We have our own topsites, webrings and give awards. Joke About Dumb Blonde Who Tried To Be Smart, 15. Brunette: "I dont know." The brunette throws a banana out the plane. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. And the blond throws a grenade. They were stuck in an island.