The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Hes pretty clearly flipping off the left and the right. 106. ", "There are 200 countries in the world now. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. - Susan Polis Schutz -- "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." The planet isnt going anywhere. It will not be with jack-boots. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. 111. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. ~ (George Carlin). A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. You enjoy yourselves. 93. Tax them. 75. Others see it half empty. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). '", Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Thats the problem. Everybody says they suck. 43. He joked about it but he was dead serious. 38. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. Something is wrong here. What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. Now I feel better. ~ (George Carlin). Current quotes, historic quotes, movie quotes, song lyric quotes, game quotes The challenge is to find it. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. I just dont have as many people who believe it. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? He joked about it but he was dead serious. They've got the judges in their back pockets. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. 80. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. They're not pro-life. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. If this is the best God can do, Im not impressed. ~ (George Carlin). 4. Property is theft. Tits always look better in a pink sweater. ~ (George Carlin). 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. George Carlin was one of the greatest comedians of all time. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? This is the best we can do folks. 88. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. I don't trust none of them. 66. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. But who is confident enough to give their persona the name Hendrix? Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. 46. Tweet. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Women are crazy. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. Powered by Shopify. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). It was hard to lump Carlin into any political demographic. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. Religion. It will not be with jack-boots. Teach them to question what they read. What kind of pro-life is that? If you love someone, set them free. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. 52. 33. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Two reasons. Fucking is legal. 90. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ", "In America, anyone can become president. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. Maybe this time it'll work. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. I love individuals. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Reverend Dr. Aiden (@SweetFnLucifer) May 21, 2022. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. This is what we have to offer. Whether Carlin would like it or not, his observations continue to be relevant in our present state. George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion Fuck hope. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). Its because volunteers work for no pay. Thats the problem. "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). Someone outside the circle, looking in. Theres a humorous side to every situation. 103. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Posted at 11:33 am on May 22, 2022 by FoundersGirl. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This explains that although teamwork is important, what you can individually bring to a business is equally relevant. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are and ask, Why? We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, "Try to live together peacefully." Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ~ (George Carlin). There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. So I don't trust none of them.". George Carlin 11. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? ", "Don't just teach your children to readteach them to question what they read. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. And the main reason women are crazy is that It can help you a lot. Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin on the Church I have as much authority as the Pope. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. 79. And I didnt really care in the first place. ~ (George Carlin). Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. We are. ~ (George Carlin). We dont have people like that in this country. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ (George Carlin). Something lofty and poetic: "Nay Family Way"; something earthhy and crude: "Mom Bomb"; something for the youngsters, "Junior Miss"; here's a real man's product, "Inconceivable"! An outsider: someone not part of the group. 76. We think in language. 116. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. 47. Ioanna Zafeiriou Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 40. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics.He started his career in the radio and in nightclub acts before his breakout in a variety of television shows that made him a popular household name. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? ", "I'm pretty sick of church people. I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. 30. ", "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. No president has done right by us. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. 85. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. All rights reserved. Deal with it. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. I dont vote. WebFamous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Why would he do that? The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.And, now, they're coming for your Social Security. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. 59. 60. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). 35. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. You show me a tropical fruit and Ill show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. ~ (George Carlin). Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. 4. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. As for the poor, [conservatives] tell us [the poor]'ve lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I have as much authority as the Pope. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. 48. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. 110. 22. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. 21. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. 9. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. In America, anyone can become president. Somebodys gonna be disappointed. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? The planet is fine. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. 45. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. 105. Garbage out. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). Stop to think who it is we kill? As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! 73. Its interested in its own power. Toothpicks? ~ (George Carlin). 18. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). 92. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. 69. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. All Rights Reserved. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. -- "Dance for yourself. Feel free to indulge in the philosophy and comedy of George Carlin, expect to be offended at least part of the time. 51. Web390K subscribers in the quotes community. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Read these quotes to gracefully enhance your views about it and make you reflect upon the essence of human spirituality!
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